Wednesday, June 28, 2006

BREAKING NEWS: Churches Permit Sinners To Attend!

What a doosh!:
Thomas to new "heretic[ ]" head of Episcopal Church: "[I]f homosexual practice is not sin," church should admit "unrepentant prostitutes, murderers, liars, thieves and atheists"

From Thomas's June 22 column:

The new leader of the Episcopal Church in America, Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori, says she does not believe homosexuality is a sin and that homosexuals were created by God to love people of the same gender.

[...]

Bishop Schori, a former oceanographer for the National Marine Fisheries Service in Seattle, says, "The Bible tells us about how to treat other human beings and that's certainly the great message of Jesus -- to include the unincluded."

[...]

Maybe the question for Bishop Schori and her fellow heretics should be: if homosexual practice is not sin, what is? And how do we know? Or is it a matter of "thus saith the opinion polls" and lobbying groups, rather than "thus saith the Lord"? With the bishop's "doctrine" of inclusion, why exclude anyone? How about applying the religious equivalent of "open borders" and let everyone into the church, including unrepentant prostitutes, murderers, liars, thieves and atheists. If the Episcopal Church denies what is clearly taught in scripture about important matters like sexual behavior, why expect its leaders to have any convictions about anything, including directions to Heaven? How can anyone be sure, if the guidebook is so full of errors?
First off.... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!!!!

Now that I've gotten that out of my system, I'm assuming Cal Thomas is a church-going man, and that in so doing, he's clearly achieved moral perfection. I mean, his platform for comparison must be his personal knowledge of church, and in such a church as his, sinners must not be allowed in. Ignoring the question "Well, why the fuck waste a perfectly good weekend morning if you already don't sin?", one is tempted to ask Mr. Thomas where he would draw the line? Adultery? Theft, even of a candy from a candy store? Lying? Appearing on Fox News?

OK, maybe that one isn't technically quite a sin. Yet...

Mr. Thomas, what about Revelation 22:17? "And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely." Does that not demand that sinners be welcome in any church?

But, as always, there's a bigger issue here: is homosexual behavior a "sin"? That's a tough question and there are no easy answers. Any sex outside of marriage is a sin, according to Jesus. We don't allow gays to marry. Therefore, homosexual sex, by humanistic definitions, is a sin, despite the fact that nowhere in the Bible is it said that two men can't have sex (which was a common practice in the days of the Bible, and still is today).

Clearly, we've interpreted the Word to mean that two men (or two women, although somehow that gets lost in the mix, for some weird reason *koffkoff... playboychannel...koffkoff*) shall not be together sexually. My personal opinion is that this is nonsense, that Jesus would applaud love between any two people, no matter how that love is expressed (except the codicil about sex with minor children, of course).

But let's allow Mr. Thomas his antediluvian opinion for a second. Let's allow that homosexuality is a sin in his opinion. Matthew 18 has an answer for him, and shows this whine to be just that: cheap whine, and not the Cana whine of greater vintage.
32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:

33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?

34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.

35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.
Mr. Thomas, the rest of us forgive you your transgression against Christ. Find it in your heart to forgive, as well.

In the Lord's name we pray. Amen. For you atheists, a high five will suffice. ;-)